I decided to spend some time trying to free up space on my computer last week. I don't do it as often as I should, but when I do it's always interesting to see what I happen upon that I kinda forgot about.
Sometimes it's just old client photos and I sit here thank God those clients actually gave me a shot. Thier moments were still beautiful like all of my clients today, but my photography wasn't what it is now and I wish I could go back and do their memories more justice.
Sometimes it's an old resume or job application. I silently hope I never have to update a resume again, but I hang onto it just in case. You never know. It's like insurance. You hope you never need it, but you don't want to get caught without it.
Last week it was a scan of an old Air Force magazine cover that was shared with me several years ago.
What's it's significance? This photo was taken by my grandfather.
My grandfather was a photojournalist in the Air Force. But to be honest, I didn't even know I had a grandfather until I was like five years old. I have a grandma on each side, my mom's dad died before I was born, and I was little so it never really crossed my mind that maybe I had a grandpa on my dad's side of the family. He didn't start coming around until later and then it was only occasionally when he needed a couch to land on for a few nights. It never really felt like it was about us or this want to get to know us.
He's not with us anymore. Hasn't been for quite some time. We never had the relationship one would expect between a grandfather and grandaughter and when he died I cried mainly for him because I knew he'd really missed all the best parts of life.
But no matter what our relationship looked like (or lack of one) I know there is a part of me that came from him and I just use that part of me differently than he did. I do feel like there is something hereditary that I got from him that is served well by photography. I feel like I get that part of him and I'm thankful for that part of me.
Last week I pulled the Neighbors of West Buda Magazine out of my mailbox. I had seen the image on the cover before because I made it..... The timing of coming back across that old Air Force magazine cover photo feels interesting. It's still hard to own that my grandfather and I could be anything alike, but I guess it's time to get over that.
And so there you go.